


Whine about it

by Nival_Vixen



Series: Short & sweet tumblr-weed [24]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Complete, Cutesy, Derek Needs To Use His Words, Derek Uses His Words, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Scott Finds Out, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Text Icons, Texting, Use Your Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 16:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4926037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nival_Vixen/pseuds/Nival_Vixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt Bellasai’s latest Whine about it video is my favourite.</p><p>It involved several things:<br/>1. drunk criticising annoying people to text with;<br/>2. a word-by-word quote from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory;<br/>3.  I asked you if you wanted to go out tonight, and all you sent me was 6 corns on the cob, an octopus, and a pear. What’s that? What does that mean? Is that a yes? This is a text message. It isn’t a menu at Denny’s. Use your words!; and<br/>4. If I say ‘What flavour of ice cream do you want?’, I’m not fucking around. This is an emergency that requires your immediate attention. So why don’t you take your hand out of your pants and let me know what flavour of ice cream you want? Lives are on the line here.</p><p>So of course, I had to Sterek it. Ugh, I’m ridiculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whine about it

**Author's Note:**

> For those that haven't seen the latest episode of Matt Bellasai's Whine About It, [here's](http://whineaboutit.tumblr.com/post/130208340124/this-week-on-whine-about-it-the-most-annoying) the link to the video on Tumblr.
> 
> I am tempted to make this a weekly thing, because I already have more than 10 WIPs, but it's obviously not enough.

Despite popular belief, Derek does send texts. In fact, he sends close to 60 texts a day to the rest of the pack, except no one knows what they mean because a text with 6 corns on the cob, an octopus, and a pear means fuck-all to anyone except for Derek.

Except, Scott can see Stiles laughing at his phone on the other side of the lounge room, and they’d all received the same text response in the group message a few seconds ago. He has his suspicions that Stiles somehow knows what Derek means, because he’s always the first one to reply in a group message. (Thankfully, he writes actual words that deciphers the emojis that Derek’s sent, and everyone responds to him instead.)

“So... Is Derek coming tonight or not?”

Stiles’ laughter dies down and he looks over at Scott with a quick grin. “Yeah, he’s bringing food for pre-drinks.”

“So that’s what the pear means?” Scott guesses; he's tried to analyse Derek’s texts before, but they’re as foreign to him as Egyptian hieroglyphics.

“Nah, the corns mean he’s bringing enough food for all of us.”

“And the octopus?”

“Dude, did you even read it?” Stiles asks with a frown.

“I saw eight tiny pictures, Stiles, and I have no idea what they mean. No one knows what they mean, except Derek, and somehow you. Have you switched brains with Derek, is that how you know how to read this?” Scott asks seriously, peering at Stiles’ hairline for a moment.

“What? No! I worry about you sometimes, Scotty,” Stiles mutters, shaking his head.

Their phones go off with another text message alert before Stiles can continue.

“Hold up, emergency text.”

It’s from Derek, but all Scott sees is a picture of an ice cream cone.

“What’s the emergency?” he asks, already standing up to go to Derek.

“What flavour of ice cream do you want?”

“That’s **not** an emergency!” Scott snaps, voice almost an octave higher.

“Lives will be on the line if the girls and I don’t get our ice cream. Flavour?”

“Cookie dough,” Scott says reluctantly, sitting down on the lounge again.

Stiles sends their requests back to Derek in text form and the others respond within seconds. He scrolls up through the group’s messages, and Scott watches as he frowns at the screen.

“Holy shit; you guys really don’t know what he’s saying, do you? I’ve responded to every single message Derek’s sent before anyone else will reply for months!”

“That’s ‘cause yours _make sense!_ You need to get Derek to use his words,” Scott mutters.

“Derek, who’s majored in both English Lit. _**and**_ Germanic Languages? We’ll start getting essays instead of emojis,” Stiles points out.

“Words and emojis then? Or at least give us a dictionary of what the hell he’s talking about. Even Lydia’s got no idea! And Allison’s like three more ghost and pumpkin emojis away from threatening Derek with his life.”

“He was excited about Halloween.”

“It was three in the morning, Stiles.”

Stiles’ phone goes off again, but this time, Scott’s doesn’t. He frowns over at Stiles, who’s blushing pink, and leans over the couch to steal his best friend’s phone.

“Give it back!”

“Shit, how many hearts can he fit in one text?” Scott mutters, scrolling through with one hand as he keeps Stiles back with the other. “Wait. Why is Derek sending you heart emojis, Stiles? It’s not a heart attack, is... oh my god.”

Stiles snatches his phone back, sends a text back, and glares over at Scott. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Scott says, hands up. “Since when have you and Derek been _sending hearts_ to each other?” he asks, grinning.

“Four months, and for the record, I hate you. Besides, I’m not the only one that can read Derek’s texts!” Stiles adds proudly.

“Who else besides you and Derek can read that mess? And why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because I know about the dumb bet the rest of you have going, and I plan to win it.”

“How will you win it?” Scott asks in confusion.

“Splitting it 50-50 with Erica.”

Scott remembers her bet of ‘will be dating for six months before they tell the rest of the pack’ and wants to hit his head on the wall. “But if I know about it...”

“Doesn’t count unless we both admit it,” Stiles says immediately, smirking smugly.

“Wait. Erica was the one to suggest the bet. You set this up, didn’t you?”

Another text message comes in from Derek, a picture of a bow tie and a dress. Stiles makes a face like he’s contemplating his answer, and Scott’s hopeful that he doesn’t know what it means, but then Stiles starts typing quickly.

Before Stiles can respond, another one comes through, this one answering Derek’s text with a few red exclamation points and ‘100′ emojis. Scott frowns when he realises just who it’s from.

“Why is _my mum_ on the group message? And what are they saying? Stiles?”

Stiles just laughs and sends a text. Scott scowls at the screen when he sees an emoji of a lipstick tube and the cone with streamers.

“Don’t worry, Scotty. You’ll find out if you don’t work it out for yourself,” Stiles says, clapping Scott on the shoulder as he leaves.

Scott groans and rather than try to decipher all 3 texts, he decides to ask his mother instead. Maybe she’ll use her words this time.

...

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, Derek was asking if anyone wanted to dress up to go out. Melissa was excited (probably because she wanted to get photos of everyone dressed up, and then have the house to herself), and Stiles agreed ‘cause he’s always ready to party.


End file.
